The road goes ever on.
|I'm Zach. 21. Cincinnati based and Atlanta born. Writing a love story with a curly haired girl from Ohio. Musician. Let's get to know each other.|
1. There will be several days that you daydream about stepping in front of a city bus. Don’t. It will not be beautiful. It will not be brave. It will be selfish. It will be broken. Your mother will cry.
2. Don’t write for him. Write for you. Write for others like you. Write so the girl that thinks about stepping in front of public transportation doesn’t. Don’t be selfish.
3. When you will yourself to sleep and it doesn’t come- get up. It doesn’t matter that it’s 3 am. There will be other 3 am’s. Take a shower. Take two. Wash him out of your hair. Write a poem. Read the same book you’ve read 202 times again. The 203rd time might tell you something different. Don’t stay in bed- you will think about the bus again.
4. Don’t kiss him because he’s broken. Don’t kiss him because his laughter never reaches his eyes. Don’t try and fix him. Fix yourself first. Be selfish. He can’t save you.
5. Date yourself. Take yourself out to eat. Don’t share your popcorn at the movies with anyone. Stroll around an art museum alone. Fall in love with canvases. Fall in love with yourself.
6. Dress up and wear red lipstick and get drunk with your friends. They’re the ones that will pick you up. Don’t kiss him. Or him. Don’t fall asleep on strange couches with strange boys. When his hand slides up your dress walk away. Hit him. Don’t kiss him. He can’t save you.
7. Get another tattoo. Get five more. Get another hole in your ear. Don’t listen to your dad. You will still be able to get a job. Did you really want to be employed by someone like your father? Haven’t you had enough of judgmental old white men anyway? Get fuck you tattooed in tiny letters on your hip.
8. When you feel the yearning for a new city- start over. Take 200 bucks and a three suitcases. Work anywhere that will have you. Meet strange people and forget your name. Call yourself Ruby. No one will know the difference. Remember to call your mother. Don’t be selfish. Come home when you find yourself in the strangers and the small one bedroom apartment.
9. Don’t whisper evil things into your own ear. Other people are going to shout them at you. Be your own hero. Keep a sword on your key ring.
10. Don’t step in front of a city bus. It will not be beautiful. Live. Stay up all night with a boy that promises you everything and means it. Live. See shitty local bands with a friend. Wear a different band’s t-shirt. No one will care. Live. Have a baby girl with tiny fingers and tiny toes someday. Pour love into her until it’s overflowing. Live. Wake up. Staying in bed all day is not poetic.
Do you hear that? It’s me. It’s your life. Wake up."
|1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?|
|2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?|
|3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?|
|4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?|
|5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?|
|6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?|
|7. What exactly are you wearing right now?|
|8. How often do you listen to music?|
|9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?|
|10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?|
|11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?|
|12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?|
|13. What about ‘R’?|
|14. Can you drive a stick shift?|
|15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?|
|16. Are you going out of town soon?|
|17. When was the last time you cried?|
|18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?|
|19. If you could change your eye color, would you?|
|20. Is there a girl who you would do absolutely everything for?|
|21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.|
|23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?|
|24. What are you sitting on right now?|
|25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?|
|26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?|
|27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?|
|28. Do you get a lot of colds?|
|29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?|
|30. Does anyone hate you?|
|31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?|
|32. Do you like watching scary movies?|
|33. Do you want your tongue pierced?|
|34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?|
|35. Did you have a dream last night?|
|36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?|
|37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?|
|38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?|
|39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?|
|40. Did you have a good day yesterday?|
|41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?|
|42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?|
|43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?|
|44. What’s the best part about school?|
|45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?|
|46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?|
|47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?|
|48. Were you single over the last summer?|
|49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?|
|50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?|
|51. Do you hate the last girl you had a conversation with?|
|52. Are you nice to everyone?|
|53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?|
|54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?|
|55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?|
|56. Do you think you like someone?|
|57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?|
|58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?|
|59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?|
|60. Do you hate anyone?|
|61. How’s your heart?|
|62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?|
|63. Have you ever cried over a girl?|
|64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?|
|65. Are your toenails painted pink?|
|66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?|
|68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?|
|69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?|
|70. How do you look right now?|
|71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?|
|72. Can you commit to one person?|
|73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?|
|74. Have you ever felt replaced?|
|75. Did you wake up cranky?|
|76. Are you a jealous person?|
|77. Are relationships ever worth it?|
|78. Anyone you’re giving up on?|
|79. Currently wanting to see anyone?|
|80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?|
|81. Last person you cried in front of?|
|82. Is there someone you will never forget?|
|83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?|
|84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?|
|85. Are you over your past?|
|86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?|
|87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?|
|88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?|
|89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?|
|90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?|
|91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?|
|94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?|
|95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?|
|96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?|
|97. Who do you have texts from?|
|98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?|
|99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?|
|100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?|
|101. Ever kissed under fireworks?|
|102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?|
Tonight someone I work with asked if I would have sex with her. I said no, and told her it wasn’t my thing to do that before marriage.
Honestly, I’ve never been so shaken up. I wanted to cry so hard. For the longest time I knew sex was to be given to the one I knew I would spend the rest of my life with. There have been plenty of times in the past to give this beautiful gift to another girl, but I haven’t ever done it. I felt so, almost violated. It was like I was a little boy, and I lusted after a woman for the first time. I felt so gross. And out of my element.
bought a new moleskine today. my options were plain one, Star Wars, peanuts, or the Hobbit. i chose the latter.
i want to fill this...
Elia and I did the do the other night after not doing it for like 3 or 2 weeks and before we weren’t really getting along very well...
motivation has been had. what’s next? writing music.
A few things